"Cry out to Jesus"

"To everyone who has lost someone they loved, long before it was their time. It feels like the days you had were not enough when you said goodbye. To honor the people with burdens and pains. You believe there is nothing and no one who can make it right. There is hope for the helpless, rest for the weary and love for the broken hearts. There is grace and forgiveness, mercy and healing that meets you wherever you are. Cry out to Jesus. For the marriage that's struggling just to hang on, they've lost all their faith and love. And they've done all they can to make it right again, still it's not enough. For the ones who can't break the addictions and chains, they try to give up but you come back again. Remember you are not alone in your shame and suffering. When you're lonely, and it feels like the whole world is falling on you, you just reach out, you just cry out to Jesus. Cry to Jesus. To the little who suffers from being alone, wiping the tears from her eyes. For the children around the world without a home, say a prayer tonight. There is hope for the helpless, rest for the weary and love for the broken hearts. There is grace and forgiveness, mercy and healing that meets you wherever you are. Cry out to Jesus." Third Day - Wherever You Are


Hello!!


It's been quite some time. I welcome you to the season of Lent! In preparation for receiving the Lord with a pure and holy heart on Easter, I ask for the Lord's abundance grace, blessings, healing, divine mercy and love be poured out upon your heart today and the days that follow!


I want to share a Lent experience with you that truly was life changing for me. 


About 2 years ago I was in my second year of graduate school, and I lived with 2 girlfriends in an apartment 3/4 mile away from my university.  I had been in relationship with Jesus (in the beginning of my ongoing conversion) for about 1 year and this, at the time, was the first Lent I wanted to do something that helped me grow closer to the Lord. Lent before my relationship with Jesus was real, didn't have as much meaning as it did then, and even more now. 


In college, I will be honest, I made choices that were not healthy, impure, lead away from God, and brought me further into darkness.  I did not know it at the time, well, I knew something felt "strange" or "uncomfortable" but I didn't know what it was.  I look back now and reflect, and I see how my whole heart was hardened, unable to see my purpose, my beauty as a gift and woman of God. I wanted to be a part of the world, the secular society where the norm is corrupt, love is false, and priorities are clouded. 


As my heart was trying to understand who Jesus was (is), and the hurt that had created my heart to harden, I had great men, women, Franciscan Friars, and community to help me along the way.  During Lent, I was encouraged to read scripture every day. I committed to that, although at times I may have rushed through a chapter just to read it, or read a chapter and not truly understand the Word being spoken, but I committed in order to deepen my relationship, wisdom and understanding of God. I don't think reading scripture for the whole season became a "habit" but it definitely became a desire!  Thank You, Lord!! Through consistent scripture reading, even after that Lent, the Lord blessed me with increased understanding and knowledge of His Word!  I can't go a day without being in the Word of God, it gives me foundation, it is my rock. 


I also had a desire to abstain from all alcohol.  Being in college, living with friends, and looking forward to the weekends without 24 hour studying and class, that was a challenge.  Through a lot of prayer, I knew this would help the Lord reveal my own heart to myself.  Alcohol had created a lot of problems in my past (I was not an alcoholic, but I did drink on the weekends with friends).  My friends and I looked forward to having "some" drinks and "have a good time."  Wow, my idea of a good time was very clouded. "Some" drinks always turned into too many, and a "good time" often turned in to obnoxious actions and in extreme events, feeling quite "ugly" and "dark" the next day. At least this was my experience. 


So, Lent came. I knew this would be a challenge, and I would face many temptations throughout the 40 days of fasting. If it were not my friends saying "come on, are you kidding, you really aren't going to drink the whole time? Just have one, we miss the 'fun' Erin", I sometimes wanted to just cave in.  But the Lord gave me strength to resist all alcohol. Throughout the season, I actually lost the desire slowly. I went out, yes. I went to the bar on a Friday night, and said "no" often to people wanting to buy me a drink, or a friend trying to convince me "just one."  But somehow, I had the strength to stay committed to my fast, for the love of God. I knew my heart was desiring to remain "clean".  Create in me, a clean heart O Lord! 


"I am holy, because You are holy, Lord." (Leviticus 11:14, 1 Peter 1:16)


As I mentioned earlier, my desire to participate in such events slowly left my heart and mind.  Granted, I did feel uncomfortable at times, sitting with a group of friends while things may have became "rowdy" and eventually I saw people forgetting things they did, not knowing who they were, making themselves look silly, and realized that I have done this to myself as well!!


When Lent was over, and Easter Sunday was here, I did not even have the least bit of a desire to have a glass of wine!  Often people look forward to Easter because they can or do whatever it was they gave up for Lent.  However, I was FREED from that harmful and hurtful action I used to enjoy.  The Lord totally freed me, and stripped my heart of such an action that was not benefitting my body, my mind, my heart, or my spirit.  To this day, I have no desire for ever being drunk, ever again. (unless it's on the Holy Spirit - Acts 2)


Please remember that this is just a personal event. I do not pass judgment on those who may enjoy a drink or two. I really don't. It's just that the Lord knew something I didn't know, and it took total sacrifice and abstinence for me to recognize the hurt it brought to myself. I didn't enjoy drinking, I might have thought I did at the time, but it was quick make me feel good, and the result was never satisfying.  But did it anyway, and it left me feeling guilty, depressed, emotionally unstable, lethargic, and quite ugly on the inside and out. This is my experience. 


So what am I trying to get at here?  Lent is a season of great sacrifice.  Just as Jesus resisted temptation for 40 days and nights, and fasted, and remained in the grace and will of God, He calls us to do the same! He wants to be totally loved by us, in mind, spirit and body. He wants to purify our hearts, and cleanse our bodies!  He desires nothing but beauty and greatness for each of us!  This Lent season, I encourage you to have the strength through Jesus Christ.  We are all weak in the flesh, and God knows that.  But we are strong in Jesus, who has conquered the enemy, and all temptations for the human being. He said "no" and obeyed God, and God called Him into His great glory, forever!


My Lent this year is a little different, but still for the glory of God. I now look forward this such a season where the Lord's passion kindles a fire in my heart. I desire Him with all that I am!


Thank You, Jesus! You have conquered sin and temptation, and I thank You for the strength You bring to each of us so that we can resist temptation, for the glory of God the Almighty Father.  May we be purified, so we can receive You more fully each day, as You bring light to our heart, freeing us from the darkness of the world. 




Love in Christ, 
Erin