Sunday, March 20, 2011

Search my heart, and search my soul~

"Shine Your light, and show Your face! In my life, Lord, have Your way. Hear my cry, and hear my prayer. Draw me close, I know You're near. Give me strength, and give me grace, to walk with You, Lord, all my days. So with all my heart and all my soul, with all I am, Lord, I will follow You. You took the cross, You took my shame, restored my life, now I live to worship You. Search my heart, and search my soul. There's nothing else, that I want more. Without You, I am nothing." - Hillsong United, Search My Heart


Glory to You, Lord! Without You, I am nothing! Amen. 


Thank You, Lord, for teaching me about humility!  Who would ever thank God for such a thing??

The Lord is helping me, through His grace and Spirit,  understand what it means to be humble in order to rid me of selfish pride.  Yes, we are human and I know I often let pride get in the way of God's fruitful gifts He has blessed me with, however, the Lord is blessing my heart with understanding and spiritual growth.

People have told me "I always pray for humility," but I seem to be “afraid” to do that because I don't know what that would entail regarding making me "look silly." 

Now, however, I desire humility, because God is humble, I am humble. Look at Jesus' passion, Our King humbly carried the cross, took on the sins of the world, was beaten and humiliated, and He remained obedient through God's grace, for God and with God. He never boasted Himself, He actually sat low with the sinners. Our mighty King was humble.


I desire to be humble as Jesus was humble, and remain in humility. Humility as in lowering myself and showing love at all times! I know in my work place, pride is present within many, but in another sense, my “job” as a physical therapist calls me to genuinely show compassion and love at all times for the best interest and care for my patient.  My “job” as a woman is uniquely similar!

As a woman, God’s feminine beauty (in original creation of woman, Eve) rests in her humble, gentle and loving ways.  Her instilled patience and trust in the Lord keeps her temperant; in good, self-control.  The stem of her heart is humility, as a woman who can only share and live these virtues and fruitful gifts through the grace of God.  "Without You, Lord, I am nothing!" There is no other way a woman can fulfill God’s call as a woman in this world, without humbly accepting Her gifts and living to serve others, and her God above herself. 

Yesterday, Saturday, I attended a women's retreat at Seton Hall University in South Orange, NJ.  It was such a blessed day, with beautiful women of all ages loving God, praising the Lord with holy hour, divine mercy chaplet, adoration, listening to enlightening and truth-filled talks about the Holy Spirit and collaboration with God and women of conviction, as well as celebrate the most holy Sacrament of the altar, The Eucharist. 


Following the blessed day, I went out to dinner with some great young women I met at a young adult group called Spirit and Truth.  While I was listening to one of the women talk, my heart was suddenly filled with love for her. Yes, I love these women already, but the Lord filled me with a deeper love, God's perfect love, in which I instantly thought, "yes, Lord, I love her because she is a beautiful woman of God. She is created in God's image, and God's likeness, just as He intended to create her, with a special purpose, and if I don't love her as He loves her, I will offend Him!"  I was moved by this thought, and the Lord has enriched my gratefulness for His unique presence in each one of us. To God be the glory.


I am no greater than another. Yes, I have unique, and special gifts given to me specifically from our Father, but that does not make me greater or better than another.  I accept these gifts, humbly, knowing that the plans for my life are for the glory of God, not my own glory.  Along with God's glory, we are filled with joy, love, peace, and many fruitful gifts of the Spirit because God "rewards"... loves... cares, for us. 


We all are the hands of God, and our unique blessings, talents, gifts, are to be used to build up the kingdom of God.  One without the other (me without you) wouldn't make sense.  God's perfect plan for our life is like a puzzle, and we are to put all the pieces together for His great glory.  His great glory, everlasting life with Him!  


One more thing I want to share with you today, is related to building up God's kingdom on earth.  We may not realize it, but every word and action that we make influences another.  The Lord is guiding my heart and mind, as He continues to convert my being into God's plan for my life.  Part of being humble is to remain in the Spirit of Jesus, and to know that the smallest negative, or smallest hurtful, or smallest secular discussion, can influence the heart, body or spirit of someone else.  Unless we speak in and of the truth at all times, God's kingdom is at risk.  


I'm not necessarily saying we have to sit in our room and only site scripture and sing praises 24 hours every day (although for some that is God's intention), but I am trying to exaggerate my point that we all are easily influenced, and easily influence others.  God's loving kindness, His holy grace, is to be shared and spread from one person to another, to lift and prevail in His great kingdom which reigns forever in heaven and on earth. I have been trying to consider my choice of words more carefully, as well as my actions, because I don't want to harm or hurt someone else's heart, I want to fill it up with the loving truth of the Lord! (part of my "job" and nature, character, as a woman)


Okay, I think that will be all for now. 


Lord, may You enlighten my heart and the heart of all those who read this blog today, that our hearts may be set on fire for Your word, and Your truth.  It is in You, that we are set free, free to love, free to live a joyful life away from the darkness of this world and in Your light.  I thank You for Your wisdom and knowledge, Your gifts that You instill in us through Your Holy Spirit.  I lift You up, Lord, and exhalt Your name on high, because You are worthy. Thank You for Your divine mercy, and for loving us despite our sins.  Thank You, for freeing us from our sins, and giving us pure hearts to know You.


God bless you ~


- Erin 



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