August 22, 2011. Do you ever think about the person you are, man or woman? Do you ever feel like one day you are one person, and another day you are someone a little bit different? Who are you?
I know for me, I am still searching my heart to know who exactly God created me to be. It's a beautiful journey as the Lord continues to unravel chains, blankets of the world that have been placed over my heart that at times distract me, steer me off course and in my walk in the shoes God has given me in my original creation.
For so long, I thought of myself as a very indecisive person. It was difficult for me at times to make important decisions in fear of making the wrong one. I often found myself dwelling on things, worrying, doubting myself, feeling insecure and the need to receive love in the wrong ways, trying to make other people happy and fit in. When I was alone I often found myself in shame, guilty of something not all the time knowing what, unhappy and lonely.
If a few years ago, you asked me who I was and what my identity was, I probably would have told you I was a perfectionist who worked hard and was too hard on myself in all aspects from school, physical appearance, sports; loved people (although at times not myself as much), was insecure, searching for hope and purpose to life, kind but also not always consistent in having patience. I am not sure what else I would have said, but I can tell you it's not much of what I would answer now, and what is reflected in who I am.
I can honestly say that coming to know Jesus, His character through scripture, fellowship, reading, prayer, knowledge and wisdom through the Holy Spirit, God has allowed me to see such a depth to my heart and who He has created me to be. Think about this, God has created us perfect in His image and likeness (Genesis 1:27). Exactly as He wanted to create man and woman, He created Adam and Eve without sin. It wasn't until the fall in the Garden, that human life was condemned with sin. However, God calls each and everyone of us to holiness, back to the glory of our sanctity in mind, body and spirit.
We will never be perfect in holiness while on earth, but He calls us all to strive for holiness, because He is holy. As it is written, "Therefore, prepare your minds for action; be self-controlled; set your hope fully on the grace to be given you when Jesus Christ is revealed. As obedient children, do not conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance. But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; for it is written: 'Be holy because I am holy.' " (1 Peter 1:13-16)
Holiness is only revealed and possible in knowing God. Knowing God is only possible by knowing Jesus, as it is written "Jesus said to him, 'I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. If you had known me, you would have known my Father also.' " (John 14:6-7)
Jesus is the Only Son of God, worthy of our unending praise. God blesses us with His Son, Our Savior, to bring us out of the dark and into the light of His Kingdom in heaven and on earth. When we acknowledge this, and desire to have a relationship with Jesus through the Holy Spirit which our Father freely gives us, our hearts begin to be transformed. To some this might sound "scary" or even"crazy" but it is instilled within each and everyone of us that we long for our God, Our Father, who has created us.
I can speak for myself, that my relationship with Jesus has brought me to a life full of great joy, happiness, compassion, kindness, peace, love and comfort in this world of great disaster. From a life and a heart of uneasiness, confusion, depression, anxiety, worry, insecurity, and fear, the Lord has blessed me with beautiful fruits of His Divine Spirit; "but the fruit of the Spirit is, love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law." (Galatians 5:22-23)
I did not know what to ask for necessary, but I allowed, called Jesus to change my heart into the woman God created me to be, and needs me to be. Allowing the Holy Spirit to work in my heart and in my life has brought me such a depth to who I am, a depth I was yearning for and so unaware of. Ultimately, my deepest desire, my thirsting soul, is only fulfilled in the love God has for me. He is, and His love revealed through Jesus His Son, is the only "thing", the only true love that quenches my thirst and brings me out of darkness into light. Life has a whole new meaning, gives me a whole new purpose.
My identity as been changed from a confused girl in this world, to a beautiful daughter of God the Most High. With a humble heart and with great humility, I can faithfully say and believe that my beautiful identity in God, through Jesus, has been revealed and has changed my walk in this world. I live in the world, but not of the world, I live in the Kingdom of God on earth, in His Truth of beauty and love. My identity rests in God's hands, and only He can open my eyes to see as He does, and my heart to love as He does. What joy!
May the Lord Jesus Christ, through the power of the Holy Spirit sent from Our Father in Heaven, transform your heart, bringing you from darkness, into the light of His Truth! May His presence in your life and in your heart reveal to you the depth of your soul. May He touch you, and wash you clean from anything that separates you from knowing your beautiful worth.
Peace in Christ,
Erin
