One of those moments...

One of those moments when your eyes fill with tears, and you realize, God is speaking to the depths of your heart. 

Has that ever happened to you? Maybe while you were watching a movie, reading a story, witnessing a special kind of charity; maybe even witnessing a baptism or a wedding, hearing someone announce his or her child's birth. These are just examples of how soft and vulnerable the depths of our hearts are, where God truly lives; where He has implanted His finger print and creates a home for His presence. How we feel at those moments reflect the beautiful, magnificent, outstanding love of God that surpasses understanding, and often cannot be put into words. It's felt within our heart. 

If you're not the kind to "feel" those moments, that does not mean something is wrong with you, or God isn't present, none of that is true. I would encourage a spirit of openness for you (we all need to pray for this often). The Lord does desire to show us His face, He wants to be know not only in our minds, but in our hearts and united to us in spirit. Close your eyes, think about the Lord, give your heart to Him and ask Him to open your heart; ask Him to show His face. 

Meditate on the Holy Scripture! This is The Lord's Word! If we read and contemplate His words, He will be made known to us even more. We will begin to understand Him more than we do, we will hear Him more clearly, we will know Him better. His Word will be alive within us, and this will allow the Lord's voice to be heard in new ways. Ask the Lord to transform your heart and your mind, and be persistent! Keep asking, and listen. 

My moment today occurred while reading books and laying on the couch with our daughter before she went in for a nap. When we made eye contact while laughing together, The Lord's presence pierced my heart with an indescribable love. I felt my eyes fill and my heart melt. I couldn't do anything but tell her I love her, and give her a huge hug. We continued to read, and I was distracted by recognizing that this was the presence of The Lord. I can only love so genuinely and so abundantly because He loved me first. I was, and still am, amazed. 

It's through prayer, scriptural meditation, faithful fellowship and spiritual direction, time before the Blessed Sacrament, that my heart has become soft! My first true encounter with The Lord that I really remember was back in college, where I decided to give my life to Him because I was broken and truly tired/sick of the life I was living without my faith being the center. It's been several years on a journey developing my relationship and love with The Lord (as I have mentioned in prior blogs) and loving and understanding who I am as a beloved daughter of God. My husband and I faced a challenge at the beginning of our marriage that truly was a test of our faith. We both faced situations that broke our hearts. Two years later, by the grace of God! we are continuously seeking healing again for our own souls, and for our marriage. Things like this can occur throughout all phases of life, let look at them as if they are opportunities to bring glory to the Heavens, and purify our souls (because they are!). 

For my husband and I, God never, ever, left us, in fact, I can honestly say, His presence has been more known to us than ever before. Personally, as a woman, I have become aware of spiritual attack that surrounds me, and through spiritual direction and healing prayers, Jesus continues to show me His face. He has brought me to The Father and continues to flood me with His Spirit. The Lord desires to make us whole. It's not always easy (usually not easy at all!) but it's worth the battle, the struggle, the sacrifice and pain, to surrender and humble ourselves before Him. At those vulnerable moments, The Lord rejoices and calls us into a deeper love with Him, so that ultimately, our newness and whole self may be the Light He needs to shine in this world.

This is when The Lord presence in the depths of our heart, can be felt at "those moments." When we receive the gentleness, the love, the peace and generosity of the Lord, we will better recognize His presence in those moments or events, and know that He is blessing us right at that moment. Lord, give us Your eyes and Your heart!!

During this Lenten journey, may the Lord bless us abundantly with His presence. 

Lord God, thank You. Thank You for making Yourself known to me, Your daughter above all else. Thank You, Jesus, for showing me Your face, for holding me and embracing me, and for bringing me to the gates of Heaven to see a glimpse of Our Father's glory. Thank You for opening my heart and my mind to desire healing for Your glory, so that I may return to You and remain focused on the mission You bestowed upon my life. Jesus, thank You for loving me and for never leaving me. Father, I present to You all women who need deep healing of the heart, especially the women closest to me. Touch their hearts with a gentle spirit of courage, so they may come to their knees and return their hearts to You willingly without hesitation. O Lord, You are such a generous and loving God. Strengthen our guardian angels and surround us with Your holy angels and saints. Protect our hearts and fill us with Your loving presence so that we may witness to You all the days of our life. 

In peace and grace, 
Erin

"I Am"

Greetings everyone, 

As my mom just said via text, "woah, you're still up?" as it is past my bedtime! I just got in from our monthly Healing Mass, which was put on hold during Lent and now starting up again at St. Raph's. Praise God! What a Spirit filled night it was. 

As I faced great (not really great, but a large amount) of spiritual attack today in my vulnerable brokenness, I sensed the enemy was trying really hard to keep me "down in the dumps," trying so hard to keep me from participating in Mass, yet alone, singing in the music ministry. God's grace, and His humble peace lifted me up again, and I did make it. 

It was one of those days, a day that felt "dark" and dreary; a day that felt heavy. At mass, Gez, our music minister, asked to share a short witness on our lenten journey, or on our sacrifices and God's resurrected grace as the Blessed Sacrament was brought out for adoration and a healing service of prayer ministry. Initially, I was thinking "oh man, what am I going to share about, I'm not worthy of sharing, I haven't had a great Lent, I don't feel gracious enough to give a witness" so on and so forth. 

As soon as the Blessed Sacrament was revealed, The Lord brought me to my knees. He clearly spoke to my heart and said, "you have made everything else your 'Lord'; your fears, your worries, your doubts, your anxieties, your wants, your physical self. You have given those 'things' lordship over your life. But, I Am Lord. I Am the Lord over your life; over your entire life, your physical self, your mental self, your emotional self, your spiritual self; I Am Lord."

The Spirit of the Lord filled my heart with great peace to share this Word. As I stood up to do so and began speaking, within 10 seconds, the fire alarms went off! They were so loud, they went off and stayed on for about 10 minutes until the Firemen came to check it out. PRAISE GOD! I couldn't help but be amazed (after I was confused for about 3 seconds on what just happened), that I was laughing, I was chuckling, on how pathetic and how hard the enemy was trying to prevent me from sharing this Word with others! My heart and my eyes remained fixed on the Lord's presence as Gez said "stay focused." I was humbled, as God continued to grace my heart with peace to share when the sirens were turned off. 

So, I shared. And as I was speaking, The Lord's presence was evident within my heart, that when I closed my eyes, I saw Him there, standing there holding his hand out for me with a great big smile on His face. I opened my eyes, closed them again, and He was still there. Thank You Jesus!

My bedtime now has really past, and I could go on for quite some time right now, to share and witness how the Lord's presence truly lifted my spirit during this Mass, but I just wanted to journal the Lord's Word, and the holy grace He bestows upon us when we are vulnerable, accepting, ready, willing and asking. 

Thank You, Lord, for Your sweet presence at Mass, in the Holy Eucharist. Thank You for showering Your Spirit down upon us from the gates of heaven. Thank You, Lord, for standing "still in the midst of chaos" including the chaos of the fire alarms, as You remained still on the altar as You said, "I Am." You never took, and You never take, Your eyes off of us! Thank You, Lord! Your hands are always reaching out to us. Help us, Lord, reach our hands back to You; help us remain with You, keeping our eyes fixed on You and our hearts united to Yours, because You are the only constant in our lives. You are always True and Faithful. You never budge, just as You showed us tonight. Thanks be to God. Here us Lord, and answer our prayers for the Glory of God the Father, Amen. 

Peace and rest, 
Erin 

Lamb of God, Who takes away the sins of the world, have mercy on us!

Good afternoon!  

I am humbled by the grace in my heart to start "blogging" again. I look back at my posts to see the last time I wrote was in 2012! Wow! Just about 2 years exactly... 2012 Easter, and now it's approaching Holy Week of 2014!

A few years back, God had put on my heart, the desire to write for His greater glory about the change in my life since I let Him in, and the zealous joy and fire which filled my heart once I said yes to His call to come back to Him. When I was in college, I began writing about the joys and sorrows of my life as I was coming back into my faith, and starting to hold the hand of Jesus (I was in graduate school). As time slowly moved on, I found a great love for writing for the Lord in a blog, which was easy to access, easy to type, easy to read, easy to put out there for others to read if they'd like to... and just the way I decided to go about writing for now.

Let me first give a brief synopsis of the changes which occurred over the last 2 years! I married God's chosen one for me, Craig.... yes the man I last blogged about back in 2012!! and we have our first-born baby who is now 7 months old today! Craig has a new job and is taking classes, and I am currently working 4 days a week (4 days too much, but yes, Lord, I'm trying to still surrender this one!) but a mama 24/7 of course.

Thanks for taking a peek at my blog.

Lord God, I humbly come before You with outstretched arms as if I have not sat with You for a while. Thank You for mercifully welcoming me into Your loving arms where I can rest in peace. I ask You to pour out Your Holy Spirit upon me, to open my heart to receive more of You freely, so that Your light and Your grace may shine forth through me. I am here to do Your will O Lord. Open the eyes and the ears of those who may read the words I write, so they may see Your loving face gazing upon them. Lord, You are Lord over the entire universe. Bring us all back to You where we belong. 

Peace and grace of Christ, 
Erin 

* Abide in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart *

Holy Saturday
April 7, 2012




Praise the Lord, Jesus Christ!!


My hope for you is that our All Powerful and Ever-living God Almighty, has revealed Himself and His love for you in a new way this Lenten season, as we look forward to tomorrow, the Resurrection of Jesus, for He has conquered death!!


I want to share what the Lord has done for me;


"My soul proclaims the greatness of the Lord; 
my spirit rejoices in God my savior. 
For he has looked upon his handmaid's lowliness;
behond, from now on will all ages call me blessed.
The Mighty One has done great things for me, and holy is his name. 
His mercy is from age to age to those who fear him."


This Lent, I have experienced many challenges, hardships, dry days, anxiety, sadness, tears, and joys. While for the first time, sharing my Lent with another person, my soulmate and best friend Craig (my fiancee), I was concerned that Lent may not be as great as in the last 2 years because my attention has been diverted to wedding plans in the midst of the season. Craig brings me closer to the Lord but for some reason I felt very torn between several "things" this Lent, where as in the past it was only the Lord and I. 


However, the Lord is faithful, always. Even when we may feel we aren't "doing enough" for the Lord, He knows our heart. If our heart is desiring the Lord and our intentions and hopes remain in Him, the Lord knows all despite our failures. We cannot do anything more or anything less to change the everlasting and unfailing love Jesus has for us!! Praise the Lord!!


Holy Thursday we attended Mass, where the washing of the feet took place as Jesus did at the Last Supper. I found myself crying throughout most of the mass. Tears of despair, joy, love, back to despair in Jesus leaving the world physically in His death. 


The Lord gave me the grace to feel as though I was truly at the Last Supper. It was so humbling to think and know (and now see in Fr. Jeff) that Jesus the Son of God, got on His knees to wash the feet of His apostles and followers. He not only washed their feet with water to cleanse their skin, but through His new covenant, He washes us free from sin! It was truly a blessing, to know and feel the love of Jesus in His humble actions for us and our life, salvation.  


During the Consecration of the Eucharist, the Lord put me in a place where I truly believed and felt as though He were there on the altar (because He is). Fr. Jeff was truly the image of Jesus through the power of God's Spirit. I felt as though I were sitting at the Last Supper, when Jesus gave us the new covenant of eternal life through His Body and Blood. I was extremely blessed at this moment, with tears of great joy rolling down my face. Nothing else mattered, beside answering God's call by saying "yes" to His Son. 


As I brought myself  up to receive the Eucharist and Blood of Christ, I could barely get my "amen" out. I was trembling slightly, amazed to receive Jesus directly from my mouth into my body. Glory to God! He calls each one of us to be intimately in relationship with Him, and through Him and The Holy Spirit, His Holy Father!


I meditated on Jesus entering my body, and transforming my being into God's creation for me. "Yes, Jesus. Let it be done according to Your Holy will!"  The Lord gave me great grace for the remainder of the mass, where tears could not be stopped. At one point, when the Eucharist was being processed around the Church to be placed into the tabernacle before Good Friday, I felt great despair knowing Jesus was going to leave this world at His Crucifixion. 


I didn't want Him to "leave me."  And I then thought about His mother, Mary, who must have prayed and hoped, prayed and hoped, in her Son's Words and wisdom that He shall ascend and return. I felt like Mary for a split second, where I hoped and hung on to Jesus' teachings and promise that He will be back again. 


This is my hope. My intimate relationship with Jesus lies in the grace God has freely given me through my "yes" to know Him, and follow Him. I am a sinner; but what I know is that God became man through His Son, Jesus. Jesus lived in a human body, here in this world to unite Himself to us and our humanity. Jesus, took on all suffering that we could possibly experience; sadness, despair, pain, anxiety, anger, fear, loneliness, betrayal, physical harm. He took all that pain, all our sins, and nailed them to the cross. He died and was buried with our sins. He conquered death through God's Heavenly grace and Spirit, by rising and ascending into heaven, returning to  His Father, taking our sin and pain and bringing them to God's Kingdom. He has set us free from the darkness of death, and brought us into the light of free life! God gives us this gift so freely, out of True Love!


We watched The Passion on Good Friday, and one of the most touching parts is when Jesus is crucified and His Spirit is taken up to God, the whole earth shakes as Jesus' head bows as He dies. When they pierced the side of Jesus to assure He was dead, the man was showered by Jesus' holy Blood and fell to His knees. The world knew He was/is truly the Son of Man, the Son of God!


We are humble children of God. He loved us first in His perfect creation, and then through Jesus His One and Only Son, to rid us of original sin and bring us into the Light of Eternal Life, so that we may return to Our Heavenly Father and Creator!! Praise God!!


My prayer is that this week, you may remain hopeful in the Truth that sets us free; Jesus is alive, He is risen, and He has conquered death! We are called to Life through The Truth of Jesus and His Holy Word. Praise the Risen Lord, for we are children of the Most High King!!


Through the Blood and Water which gushed forth from the side of Jesus, I ask the Lord to wash you clean of the stain of sin, and enlighten your hearts and minds. Rest in the Love of Christ, 


Erin 

To God alone, be the glory.

Glory to God.
It's way past my bedtime right now, but I wanted to at least jot down a few things before I closed my eyes tonight.
Saturday, 3/9/12 12:03AM

The Lord has been gently revealing Himself to me this Lent. In one way, He is re-iterating the Truth that we as Christians are called to live our daily lives as witnesses for the Lord. Praise God.

One way in which this Truth was revealed, was on the road driving and having someone "honk" at me/my car and raise both hands in my rear view mirror. I found myself getting a little irritated, that quickly turned into a reality check like, "how sad is that, that someone got that mad they had to honk their horn and share their frustration/anger with some stranger in another car." Although at the time I didn't want to, I began to pray for the person, and try to submit myself to them by switching lanes and smiling as my heart was softened with God's love.

This is not the first time that I have had a "revelation" about our call to live out our Christian witness in our daily lives, even on the road. Letting someone in front of me, or waving on another car to go first out of a parking lot, these small acts of kindness, as random as they appear, are ways in which I received so much love and joy from the Lord because of my sacrifice for another.

Another moment, this occurring today, that allowed me to once again see God's call to us as Christians, was questioning myself "why do I love to sing praise and worship?" It's not because I have the greatest voice (which clearly I don't) or because I want to be in front of people and have all eyes on me (clearly not the driving force here!), it's to give God glory by calling His Holy Spirit to shower His love and grace upon us; it's to help others dive into worship of Jesus, Our Great God! It's for God's glory, not my own!

This is important to remember because our daily actions, our lives, are not our own. Yes, God has given us life to enjoy in His love on earth, but He has set us apart for so much more than that! Eternal glory with Him in heaven!

This brings me to the point that our motives, physical, spiritual, mental, emotional, need to be aligned with God and His Kingdom, so that the deepest part of our being is self-less. Yes, God's blessings "feel" good, or are "exciting" and filled with such great joy and peace, but it's not for our own self satisfaction that God has these great plans for us; it's just a reward to walking in God's footsteps and following His path of Truth and Love.

God is worthy, not because He is a God of reward, but because He is God, all powerful, ever-living, God Almighty! King of the Universe! He is worthy of all our praise, all our worship, all our life! When we seek The Lord, and love Him with all our being, He is invited to have His way in our heart and life. He doesn't push Himself upon us, but gives us opportunities to give ourselves back to Him, for He rejoices over the one lost sheep when he returns home.

Okay... I shall return to this topic.

Lord, God, Almighty Father and King, I give You great thanks and praise for freely giving Yourself to us through Your Son, Jesus Christ. May we all, with great humility, accept our imperfections and need for You in our lives, so that we can freely give ourselves back to You and remain in Your Kingdom on earth. To You be the glory, forever!

My love and peace through Jesus Our Lord, be with you always,
Goodnight,
Erin

Your infinite details amaze me!

February 28, 2012


Look at that picture over there to the right. It could pass for a painting, but no it's God's creation alive and well! Pay attention to the fine details; the way the clouds look 3-D or painted so perfectly, the shades of the green where on the right it's crystal clear and dark green, a little faded to the left and more faded beyond as the distance is greater; the shadows on the mountains, the hills and valleys. All of these fine details are what make the picture more enjoyable, more refreshing, and more attractive to the eye and soul. 


Lord of all creation, I honor you in thanksgiving for having blessed us with Your beauty in Your wondrous land. Your landscape is beauty to our eyes and soul, and keeps us captivated by Your majesty. Thank You, Lord, for revealing to us how much you love us through Your land, and especially through Your children. Just as the picture of the beautiful green land speaks peace to our hearts, the beauty of the soul is revealed in each of Your children. Your infinite details that set us apart from one another is a foreshadow of Your majestic power! Your genius and marvelous works revealed in all of Your creation are blessings in disguise.  Thank You, Father, for calling us worthy to live out our gift of life, and share in Your wondrous Kingdom on earth in preparation for eternal glory in Heaven. 


The final picture here of the Tuscan mountaintops is "similar" to us, to me, where these small trees were planted among the mountain and had time to grow into full fruition for God's glorious beauty! The seeds, the trees were planted among God's original creation, the dirt, the mountain. If the dirt had been corrupt, not filled with water to grow, not taken care of, they would not have sprung into the perfect and beautiful image seen above. Just as the Lord stated in the parable of the sower in Matthew 13:2-9


"on the same day Jesus went out of the house and sat by the sea, And great multitudes were gathered to Him so that He got into a boat and sat down; and the whole multitude stood on the shore. Then He spoke many things to them in parables saying: "Behold, a sower went out to sow. And as he sowed some seed fell by the wayside and the birds came and devoured them. Some fell on stony places, where they did not have much earth; they immediately sprang up because they had no depth of earth. But when the sun was up they were scorched, and because they had no root they withered away. And some fell among thorns, and the thorns sprang up and choked them. But others fell on good ground and yielded a crop, some a hundredfold, some sixty, some thirty. He who has ears to hear, let him hear."


God's Word and Spirit "fall" onto/into us which is His "good ground." Therefore, as His Word and Spirit enter us, or form strong root, we are transformed back into His original creation. He has the power over us to yield "good crop" which is our original self in the purest image possible. 


As the Lord's power in our lives is transforming, He pays attention to the fine details! He knows exactly what it is that we need in order to find, be and love our original self as the daughter/son of God that we are. Through experiences, events, sin and life situations, our original foundation becomes altered. The veil is placed over our hearts and it's only when "anyone turns to the Lord that the veil is taken away" 2 Corinthians 3. However, it takes time! 


We are all a work in progress, praise God for His mercy and compassion through His Son, Jesus. The fine details who make us who we are are beautiful. The work of the Lord is revealed through us, through His healing and loving power in our lives. When we commit ourselves to the Lord, freely giving ourselves back to Him, we give Him the authority over lives that He needs to remove the veil and uncover His pure image of woman/man in each of us. 


How does this relate to the picture at top? I want to reiterate that God's perfection is never completed in us on earth. However, His work in our lives after we give Him permission to plant the seeds in our foundation, gives Him the authority He needs to reveal His beauty in us. As He unveils us, our inner beauty, the pure image of God within us is revealed. Then, we can see more clearly and love more freely the person God created us to be. We can then strive to live in holiness, to be comfortable and love who we are. 


So my fellow brothers and sisters, join me in asking the Lord to plant His seeds in us, that our soil may be fruitful and clean to bring forth new life in Spirit and Truth. 




~eyes are heavy... rest in the peace of the Lord this evening. God bless your 1st week of Lent, may you remain holy and persevere in the love of Christ. 


Erin 

Where can we find hope?

January 5, 2012
It's been way too long!! I know... but I give thanks to the Lord, that He's lead me back here, I've missed it.

Lord, God of all creation, fill the hearts of your faithful. Open my heart so Your Spirit may dwell in me and speak Your words of Truth. Open the hearts of all whose eyes read and whose hearts hear this entry. Let Your will be done in us, for the glory of God Our Father.

Ever wonder what the purpose of living in this world was? When we die, what happens, our body leaves the world, and that's it? This has been something I often thought about since I was a little girl... 20 years later or so, the Lord Jesus Christ, has answered my question. It's our journey on earth, given life by God Our Father, that brings us home to Him in heaven.

God, The Father and Creator of all things, set us apart from other creatures as humans, and given us dominion over animals, nature and all things. He freely gives us life in body and spirit, to share in His joy, His love, His peace on earth, all as a foretaste of His glory in heaven.

So where can we find hope? We can find hope in the promise God gives us in and through His Son, Jesus, as it is written and spoken, God's One and Only Son became man for the forgiveness of our sins. Jesus is, The Way, The Truth, and The Life. His mercy and love brings us out of the darkness of this world and into the light of God's Kingdom. The love of Our Father surpasses all understanding, for His ways are greater than our ways.

God has a plan for each one of us. Despite our sin, imperfections, failings, hard times, God is with us. He never gives up on us, He calls us and yearns for our soul to be united to Him, through His Son and His Spirit. In our call as a child of the Most High God, we can rest assured that our purpose is perfect in God's Kingdom, and He will reveal Himself and His will to us if we seek Him with all our heart.

As a physical therapist who works with the neurological population, at this time, people who have a spinal cord injury, I see human bitterness, sadness, depression, frustration, anger, emptiness. Do I see faith, hope, love, joy, peace as well? Yes, these are blessed fruits from God. The others, are lies that the devil tries convincing us are true... but they are not. We are all called to share in God's fruits of His Spirit despite what the situation is. God's power is found in turning a "bad" situation into good. I know at times that is easier said than done, but we can give up. This world is not perfect, and unfortunately we do not know the answers to why we face certain situations. However, the Lord of power and might, of grace and love, is with us always. He is our hope, the only True hope.

I will be back shortly... time for bed and prayer. God's grace be with you ~