Hello!!
It's been a while since I last wrote, not only here, but even in my journal. Temptation won I suppose, because I know it's a huge blessing for me to write and I let the enemy "trick" me into not making time. But I am back =)
I just had a beautiful weekend. The last couple of weeks felt "heavy" with errands, and things that needed to get done. I felt quite distracted and limited in my self control, making decisions that may not have been the best. I have been redeemed with this weekend, off from work with the opportunity for a retreat! Glory to God, but I feel rejuvenated. The Lord never ceases to amaze me.
I want to share with you a little bit about my experience this weekend.
I have found myself the last couple of weeks, actually, the last couple of months, struggling with self control in many aspects of my life. I have received A LOT of healing from my past, but certain things have continued to resurface. To say the least, I have been struggling with self control which I know is important to fulfill my call to marriage. This, the Lord has confirmed this past weekend =).
Self control is a manifestation of the Holy Spirit. The Lord poured His love, mercy and grace into my heart this weekend, and spoke to me in a powerful way. He made Himself known and shined His face upon my heart, so that I would find hope in Him and I did.
Self control and gentleness are the two words the Lord placed on my heart with a strong desire to meditate upon, and let them kindle a fire within my heart, allowing Him to strengthen me. Today following yesterday's retreat and in reflecting upon all the Lord revealed to me, I can say by the grace of our great God, I desire nothing less than all the Lord is calling me to! This brings me hope and joy. Seeking the Lord's will gives me a center of peace, and in return, self-control. Trusting the Lord also brings me humbleness, and in return gentleness. Thank You, Lord! He never ceases to amaze me.
I hope this makes some sense. I guess my point in sharing this brief story is that the Lord's mercy is powerful, if we seek Him each day. Like our relationships between two human beings, our relationship with the Lord is quite similar. We have to constantly "work" at it. The only difference is, the Lord is consistent in His love, mercy and peace, and knows us better than we know ourselves. In the good and bad, we need to call to Jesus and give in thanks and praise. He desires, thirsts and longs for our total surrender. He wants to lead our hearts in His path of happiness and righteousness. When we struggle, we need to turn to Him, because He will!! carry us. He hears our cries. Even if we want the difficult situation to disappear right now, we need to continue to turn to the Lord, and in His time He will work it to good. He is doing it right now. Have a little faith ;-)
It's gotten late and I should be going to sleep!! Gym time comes quickly.
God bless you ~ Rest in the hands of Jesus, where His love cradles your mind, body and spirit. May He hold you close to His most Sacred Heart, and lift you into the mantle of Mary's love. Goodnight.
- Erin
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