As my mom just said via text, "woah, you're still up?" as it is past my bedtime! I just got in from our monthly Healing Mass, which was put on hold during Lent and now starting up again at St. Raph's. Praise God! What a Spirit filled night it was.
As I faced great (not really great, but a large amount) of spiritual attack today in my vulnerable brokenness, I sensed the enemy was trying really hard to keep me "down in the dumps," trying so hard to keep me from participating in Mass, yet alone, singing in the music ministry. God's grace, and His humble peace lifted me up again, and I did make it.
It was one of those days, a day that felt "dark" and dreary; a day that felt heavy. At mass, Gez, our music minister, asked to share a short witness on our lenten journey, or on our sacrifices and God's resurrected grace as the Blessed Sacrament was brought out for adoration and a healing service of prayer ministry. Initially, I was thinking "oh man, what am I going to share about, I'm not worthy of sharing, I haven't had a great Lent, I don't feel gracious enough to give a witness" so on and so forth.
As soon as the Blessed Sacrament was revealed, The Lord brought me to my knees. He clearly spoke to my heart and said, "you have made everything else your 'Lord'; your fears, your worries, your doubts, your anxieties, your wants, your physical self. You have given those 'things' lordship over your life. But, I Am Lord. I Am the Lord over your life; over your entire life, your physical self, your mental self, your emotional self, your spiritual self; I Am Lord."
The Spirit of the Lord filled my heart with great peace to share this Word. As I stood up to do so and began speaking, within 10 seconds, the fire alarms went off! They were so loud, they went off and stayed on for about 10 minutes until the Firemen came to check it out. PRAISE GOD! I couldn't help but be amazed (after I was confused for about 3 seconds on what just happened), that I was laughing, I was chuckling, on how pathetic and how hard the enemy was trying to prevent me from sharing this Word with others! My heart and my eyes remained fixed on the Lord's presence as Gez said "stay focused." I was humbled, as God continued to grace my heart with peace to share when the sirens were turned off.
So, I shared. And as I was speaking, The Lord's presence was evident within my heart, that when I closed my eyes, I saw Him there, standing there holding his hand out for me with a great big smile on His face. I opened my eyes, closed them again, and He was still there. Thank You Jesus!
My bedtime now has really past, and I could go on for quite some time right now, to share and witness how the Lord's presence truly lifted my spirit during this Mass, but I just wanted to journal the Lord's Word, and the holy grace He bestows upon us when we are vulnerable, accepting, ready, willing and asking.
Thank You, Lord, for Your sweet presence at Mass, in the Holy Eucharist. Thank You for showering Your Spirit down upon us from the gates of heaven. Thank You, Lord, for standing "still in the midst of chaos" including the chaos of the fire alarms, as You remained still on the altar as You said, "I Am." You never took, and You never take, Your eyes off of us! Thank You, Lord! Your hands are always reaching out to us. Help us, Lord, reach our hands back to You; help us remain with You, keeping our eyes fixed on You and our hearts united to Yours, because You are the only constant in our lives. You are always True and Faithful. You never budge, just as You showed us tonight. Thanks be to God. Here us Lord, and answer our prayers for the Glory of God the Father, Amen.
Peace and rest,
Erin
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